


Broken Bonds

by fangsty



Category: Zombieland, Zombieland (2009), Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, During Canon, M/M, Past Columbus/Witchita, Unresolved Sexual Tension, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:15:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22368544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangsty/pseuds/fangsty
Summary: After Witchita and Little Rock disappear, Columbus is distraught and seeks comfort in Tallahassee. Tallahassee responds in an unexpected way, and things turn in a strange new direction.Takes place inbetween the time Witchita and Little Rock leave and Madison shows up.
Relationships: Columbus/Tallahassee (Zombieland)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 144





	Broken Bonds

**Author's Note:**

> I saw Zombieland 2 back in October, and I thought it was okay. Didn't really like it much at all, but I felt like writing this after just cause. It's been lying in my drafts for a while, so here it is all cleaned up and ready for publishing.

He wasn’t sure how long it was since Wichita left, taking Little Rock with her. Probably just over a week, but it felt more like a year. Pain, confusion, loneliness all built and built and built inside him until he could no longer stand to be in the President’s master bedroom. Its emptiness and silence bore down on him. 

One night he got up to take a piss and somehow, beneath the white noise of the bathroom fan, made the decision to never return there. Columbus didn’t know what the hell he was doing when he stepped into Tallahassee's bedroom. He still didn’t know what he was doing when he climbed under the covers. It didn’t matter at that point. All rational thought had left his mind, and he was reduced to following his body’s instincts.

The proud Florida man, gruff and paranoid, but despite it all sticking by him, awoke with a start. “What the—!” but when he recognized the familiar curls and pleading, unimaginably downtrodden face of his longtime companion reflected in moonlight, let out a long sigh and acquiesced. 

Tallahassee teased him almost relentlessly on a daily basis, but he just as often sensed when Columbus was at his most vulnerable, more than anyone else in the group (sometimes even Wichita). He never pushed more than he thought was appropriate unless he really didn’t know he was crossing a line. For a whole week he was dismissive and making jabs at Columbus’s relationship problems, but it was obvious that it was just a front when he was equally distressed by his daughter figure abandoning them. The Beast being stolen was a huge sore spot on top of that. And although he never cared for Wichita and Columbus’s on-again off-again tangled mess of a union, he had come to see Wichita as family—all of them. But he truly believed they would come back and that nothing would happen to them, especially Little Rock. 

Columbus was not so sure. He felt dumb, so fucking dumb that he couldn’t see the signs, that he misunderstood her that severely, that he pushed her so far into a corner she felt like she needed to run away from him. Years of their relationship had been thrown into scrutiny. Perhaps she was never with him out of “true love” but out of convenience. He was a warm body, around her age, nice and clean, as in literally hygienic. A safe, easy choice. They were friends, he was sure there was _some_ kind of love between them, but maybe not the _right_ kind. Maybe he was in love with a shadow this whole time. 

The thought of it brought hot tears to his eyes and he curled inward, shuddering as he tried to keep from making too much noise. 

Tallahassee, who had rolled over to the other edge of the bed to keep some distance, sighed again and shuffled around. He tried to say something but the words stopped in his throat. He was never good at comforting with words. Instead he laid one large hand on Columbus’s shoulder and gently rubbed back and forth. Then he does the unexpected and curls his arm around Columbus’s waist, pulling him closer. The things he does for this kid.

At first he’s tense, surprised, but after a few seconds Columbus felt warm and tingly, relaxing in the embrace, and soon fell asleep easy.

Come morning, he’s gone and everything’s back to normal. They don’t acknowledge last night, as if nothing happened. Every time one of them even thought of bringing it up or steering the conversation in that direction, the other came up with a way to distract from it.

Despite himself, Columbus was back the following night. They still don’t say a word. It came a little easier that night, then the next night, then almost became normal, except for the fact that they haven’t addressed anything. 

One day a few weeks later, everything changed. They’re out for a normal run through a grocery store. It started with a touch that lingered slightly too long and an offhand comment. Easy enough to brush off. But gradually, the strange atmosphere began to escalate. By midday, they were bickering, much more than usual. 

“You idiot! We can’t risk it! Haven’t you noticed it’s just the two of us?!”

It was not like Columbus to shout and argue with Tallahassee. Snarky responses he had aplenty but when he yelled like that, it was serious. He was sure that the combination of rising tension between them and going stir crazy without the girls or a goal to work towards was causing this moment of extreme recklessness in Tallahassee, much more than he already was. 

“Boy, I cannot stand another day of nothin’ to do, so I’m gonna fuckin’ go for it!”

Before he could step past, Columbus threw all his weight and bodily shoved Tallahassee back against the glass of rotted refrigerated products. “No, _you’re not_!”

One quick maneuver has their positions reversed with Columbus now pressed up against the smooth surface. 

“And _you’re_ gonna make me?” Tallahassee said in disbelief. He’s crowded him in completely, one arm next to his head and inches from his face, looking down on him skeptically. 

Columbus leaned in slightly, “Yes.” Their breaths were mingling. He glanced down at the man’s lips and back up into his eyes. Then Tallahassee kissed him. The inconceivable happened. It immediately deepened, all the tension releasing at once. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Columbus gets why this is happening. He might have had Wichita almost this whole time for years and years, but Tallahassee has been alone since before they met. They haven’t met or really been willing to meet with any other humans. Little Rock was still a kid, of course, up until recently, and didn’t care much about romance. The only way Tallahassee could relieve stress was through zombie-killing thrills or his own hand. 

That same warm hand curled in Columbus’s hair, pulled gently, and he let out an undignified moan into Tallahassee’s mouth. He can’t deny that there was something there on his part too because he didn’t reject the kiss. He wasn’t sure if it was always there and he only realized because Wichita split or if it started after his little nightly visits, but it was there. He’ll figure it out later.

Right now, Tallahassee’s got a leg between his, making him stand on his toes, his arousal building.

The next second, the warmth is gone and the contact stops. He opened his eyes, feeling slightly dazed and way too hot. 

“Not here, kid.” Fair enough. 

They practically sprint back to the WH. Impressively, Columbus managed to stay half hard the whole time back. They fall into bed together for the first time before nightfall.

Everything they needed, Tallahassee has stashed in his bedside table. Columbus never noticed when he took lube and condoms, but he’s not very surprised that the Florida man is always prepared for a lay. He _is_ surprised that he’d be willing to do it with a man, let alone a scrawny, awkward geek like him whom he’s been casually picking on for years, but maybe he knew a lot less about Tallahassee than he thought he knew. A man like him doesn’t often share his deep feelings. 

Whatever talent he lacked articulating his words seemed to have all gone into the pleasure he’s able to give with his mouth. Columbus had never gotten fucked before, at least not in _that way_ , but Tallahassee was shockingly gentle and patient with him. It still felt good. Maybe any contact would feel good but Tallahassee wasn’t just any person. He had never once been betrayed or abandoned by him. He could’ve split too to find Little Rock but instead he stuck by Columbus and protected him. Not only that but comforted him for weeks without a single protest. 

When he came, it was the best he’d ever felt since one of the first times with Wichita (after he gained some much needed experience), back when there was still a real spark. 

If it meant being alone with Tallahassee to take care of him and for him to take care of Tallahassee and make sure he didn’t do something stupid, then maybe, just maybe he could deal with anything as long as they had each other. 

* * *

The next day, Madison showed up. That same night, Wichita came back, saying Little Rock had run off all by herself with some hippie moron. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I just wanna see Jesse Eisenberg get fucked.


End file.
